Shine Like Stars

Shine like stars in the universe as we hold out the Word of life (Phil. 2:15)
We're not trying to be rock stars but just shed some light on a sad and lonely world. Stay tuned for how God works through weak and tired, sometimes really cranky vessels.

Monday, April 26, 2010

I love this quote:

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 

I find this concept to be true lots of areas of my life. In our adoption process we were completely blown away by the way "Providence" worked in amazing ways we were "bold" and stepped out in faith in the adoption process. In a year and a half we were able to pay what seemed like an insurmountable cost speaking financially.

"Providence" was even more amazingly shown in the baby that was placed with our family. She is perfect for us. She's got a huge personality, an awesome sense of humor, lots of love, and is a handful. Really, I often praise the Lord for the way that He's orchestrated the events of Melia Serawit's life and ours to form a family.

Back to the quote, I found it on this post on Melissa Faye Green's blog. She wrote the wonderful book There's No Me Without You. If you haven't read it you should. But first start by reading the post she wrote on her blog. In it she answers a lot of questions about Ethiopian adoption and says many insightful things. This is great....
Like many adoptive parents, I chafe at the term “biological” to designate only my birth children.  First because all children, of course, are the products of biology.  Second because aren’t my children by adoption also mine biologically?  We breathe each other’s air, prepare and share each other’s food, borrow each other’s combs and socks and pencils;  Helen sometimes falls asleep on my bed twirling her fingers through my hair.  Aren’t these somehow biological processes?  Aren’t our cells intermixing?  Haven’t the years of Berenstain Bears books I’ve inflicted on these children been immortalized as brain cells? 
While I'm on the topic of "biological" children, can I just say to those of you who aren't very familiar with adoption terminology..... When someone says "Your or their Own" children in reference to my biological children or about people who aren't interested in adopting -- That makes my stomach hurt and me bite my tongue so I don't lash out. I know that you have good intentions when you say these words and that is why I don't say anything. But I am now...

Here's my soapbox:
--My adopted daughter is "my own" as much as my children who grew in my belly. The reality is that they all belong to the Lord and He's entrusted me with them.
--Melia's young now, if you say the "own" word she won't know what you are talking about. But one day she will. This gives the impression that she doesn't quite belong to us because she's not "our own". But that's so wrong because this is where she belongs and she is so much our own!

I'm really not offended when people use this term, I just wish they wouldn't. So if we've talked recently and you've said that before, don't worry I'm not mad. In fact, I probably don't even remember because I can barely remember anything these days :)



  1. What you wrote made me cry. And it made me wonder how anyone could see Melia as anyone but a little goofy Gothro!! You ARE her Mama & Michael IS her daddy. And she has 2 incredible big brothers & a sassy big sister!!

    When we think of your family, and sometimes when we write to or about you, we often call you: "The Circle of Six". That image has special meaning to us, and a special meaning that we want others to hear & believe. A circle has no beginning or end. No "one spot" in it stands out or is ANY DIFFERENT than any other part! We love all of you for the unique individuals that you are...and we love your FAMILY for the wonderful "circle of six" that you are!

  2. I think everyone sees her as a Gothro and knows that we are her parents but they don't know how the words used to describe bio and adoptive kids can sound harsh.
    People are very positive about our adoption and love Melia so much! For that I am grateful.

  3. Oh so with you sister. Hearing those few little words sends physical pain into my heart, even though I fully understand that is not what people mean. I am so glad Bear does not understand those words now, but someday he will. I like that you are educating your family and friends now!

  4. Hello! We've been following your blog and were hoping that you'd add ours to your list! We just started our adoption process for Ethiopia this week and want to meet as many people in the process as possible! :) Our blog is
    we just started our first fundraisers of an ipod raffle and selling our adoption tshirts! Thanks so much!

    Lindsay and Jon

  5. So glad to hear that it is just that people don't know the right "words" to use! Sometimes we all make huge blunders just because we aren't familiar with a situation. We'll be praying that everyone around Melia will listen & learn your kind teaching before she is old enough to understand!

  6. Oh the truth! YES- we have started saying- when people say do you have any of your own- yep 8! Or when they ask are there any siblings- yep 8! You should see the looks. Those things don't mean a whole lot, but when you have children who do hear & UNDERSTAND- DON'T use bad terminology!

    I agree :)

  7. Great post! Love the "biological" quote, I have always had a problem with the terminology but wasn't sure why. Preach it sister!